The Single Life - Part II

*This is a two part series. To read The Single Life – Part I, click here.
 
Like most young girls, I dreamed of growing up, getting married, and having kids.
 
Being single in my 30’s, one of the biggest lies I find myself dealing with is the thought that I’m “behind” in my life. Most of my friends are married, with several kids, and their kids are now in school, yet my life looks nothing like that. Sometimes it feels as if the world is spinning around, but I’m “stuck.”
 
The truth is I’m not “stuck.” It only appears that way because I’m comparing my life to others. Our stories are uniquely beautiful - no two are meant to be the same.

God’s creativity can be seen by looking at the stories around us, but sometimes I think we’re so consumed with comparison that we miss out on the beauty and joy right in front of us.
 
Have I questioned God about why I’m still single? Yes.

• Especially since I know Genesis 2:18 says, “Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a suitable helper for him.” I know I’m not ever truly “alone” (since God is with me), but it would be nice to have a physical person by my side to help me and to share everyday moments with. 

 
Do I still trust that God is good and His timing is perfect? Absolutely!

• Instead of sitting at home and “waiting” for my husband, though, I’ve decided to actively live my life. I give thanks for the independence and flexibility I currently have, and I try to use my time and talents to serve/volunteer (which I love to do). If God has a husband for me, great! If not, at least I’ll be pursuing the things God has called me to pursue. I will never regret that.

 
Have I prayed for my future husband? Yes, but my prayer has changed in the last several months. Recently, I’ve been praying….
 
“God, you know my desire is to be married and have kids. If that is not your desire for me, change my desires to match your desires.”
 
The first time I prayed that, it was honestly a little scary. At first it felt like I was giving up on my dreams, but the more I prayed it, the more God changed my perspective. I’m not giving up on my dreams, I’m giving my dreams to God. There’s a difference.
 
Has God changed my desires? No…not yet, at least. He may at some point, but I never want my desire for a husband to be greater than my desire for following God.  
 
Being single in my 30’s has forced me to become independent, but at the same time it has helped me become more reliant on God. He is the one I turn to throughout the day. He is the one in whom I find my identity. He is the one who loves me unconditionally.
 
My joy, worth, and sense of purpose do not come from a person, they come from my Heavenly Father. And I know that if God wants me to be married, He will bring me someone who also knows this to be true.  
 
Whether you’re single, married, divorced, or widowed, know this: Our relationship statuses may change, but we will always be valuable in God’s eyes.