The Single Life - Part II
*This is a two part series. To read The Single Life – Part I, click here.
Like most young girls, I dreamed of growing up, getting married, and having kids.
Being single in my 30’s, one of the biggest lies I find myself dealing with is the thought that I’m “behind” in my life. Most of my friends are married, with several kids, and their kids are now in school, yet my life looks nothing like that. Sometimes it feels as if the world is spinning around, but I’m “stuck.”
The truth is I’m not “stuck.” It only appears that way because I’m comparing my life to others. Our stories are uniquely beautiful - no two are meant to be the same.
God’s creativity can be seen by looking at the stories around us, but sometimes I think we’re so consumed with comparison that we miss out on the beauty and joy right in front of us.
Have I questioned God about why I’m still single? Yes.
Do I still trust that God is good and His timing is perfect? Absolutely!
Have I prayed for my future husband? Yes, but my prayer has changed in the last several months. Recently, I’ve been praying….
“God, you know my desire is to be married and have kids. If that is not your desire for me, change my desires to match your desires.”
The first time I prayed that, it was honestly a little scary. At first it felt like I was giving up on my dreams, but the more I prayed it, the more God changed my perspective. I’m not giving up on my dreams, I’m giving my dreams to God. There’s a difference.
Has God changed my desires? No…not yet, at least. He may at some point, but I never want my desire for a husband to be greater than my desire for following God.
Being single in my 30’s has forced me to become independent, but at the same time it has helped me become more reliant on God. He is the one I turn to throughout the day. He is the one in whom I find my identity. He is the one who loves me unconditionally.
My joy, worth, and sense of purpose do not come from a person, they come from my Heavenly Father. And I know that if God wants me to be married, He will bring me someone who also knows this to be true.
Whether you’re single, married, divorced, or widowed, know this: Our relationship statuses may change, but we will always be valuable in God’s eyes.
3/16/2017 06:08:19 pm
I just absolutely love this! Love it!!
3/16/2017 09:21:48 pm
3/16/2017 10:05:36 pm
Beautifully written Julie! I just love to read your blogs. They are so thought provoking and sincere.
3/16/2017 10:40:00 pm
Thanks for reading, Jenny! I write about what I know about, and I know a lot about being single. :)
3/16/2017 10:32:03 pm
Love this so much, Julie!! So many truths in here. As we discussed in our bible study, comparison is the thief of joy and allows the devil to whisper falsehoods into our ears. Staying true to Gods word and the purpose HE has for our lives is the ultimate joy!! 💗💗💗
3/16/2017 10:54:10 pm
Amen! And that is also why it's so important to stay connected in community...we can help each other distinguish between the lies and the truth. I'm so thankful to have met you through Bible study, Meri!
3/17/2017 11:27:58 am
Thank you for sharing this Julie! All of us--single and married--needed to hear this.
3/17/2017 09:21:28 pm
You're welcome! It's funny how I wrote this thinking only my single friends would be able to relate, but so many of my married friends have said the same thing that you shared. Truth is truth (no matter what your relationship status).
3/17/2017 10:54:44 pm
Love this! I am a fellow woman in her 30s and single. Satan tries to tell me lies ALL the time when I compare and look at my life. When I really sit down and listen to my Father he tells me I am loved.
3/17/2017 11:16:40 pm
Kristin, I agree that one of the best parts about being single is the freedom we have! I love how you talked about the importance of spending time with God and listening to Him. Like you, when I do, He always reminds me that I am loved. Have fun adding stamps to your passport. I would ask you where you've been, but I don't want to compare. ;)
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I'm an ordinary introvert who loves an extraordinary God.