On January 1, 2020 so many of us had hope, excitement, and anticipation of what the new year would bring. We made plans, set goals, and dreamed about how 2020 would be better than 2019. We said, “Happy New Year!” to each other and truly meant it.
And then March 11th happened.
The World Health Organization declared COVID-19 a global pandemic, and 2020 suddenly looked very different than how we imagined it a few months earlier.
Because of a global pandemic, I have spent a lot of time at home the past 5 months. I’ve read numerous books, listened to countless podcasts, completed several puzzles, spent hours on Zoom, watched way too much Netflix, and I even took 3 months of online guitar lessons.
While everyone else was ordering toilet paper and Clorox wipes online, I decided to order my first Paint By Number canvas. There are hundreds of beautiful paintings to choose from. The concept seems simple – match the numbered paints to the numbered areas on the canvas.
The company’s website says, “Relieve stress and reveal your creative side.” Apparently, lots of other people were also feeling the stress of the pandemic, because sales on their website drastically increased and it took over 2 months for my canvas to arrive.
In the midst of a global pandemic, I have found it hard to put into words everything I'm feeling right now. And then I heard the song "You Already Know" by JJ Heller.
After hearing her beautiful song, these words came to my mind....
I Can Trust You With Tomorrow
When so much seems uncertain
And I don’t understand your ways
I trust in your unchanging word
And I fall to my knees to pray
I give you my worries
I give you my fears
I give you my questions
I give you my tears
You give me comfort
You give me peace
You give me hope
And reassure me
When others are distant
You remain near
When I feel weak
You’ll help me persevere
I can trust you with tomorrow
Because you were with me yesterday
I can trust that you’re still good
Because I feel loved by you today
When I started this blog 3 years ago, I wasn’t sure if anyone would read my words….but I wrote anyways. The more that I wrote, the more people shared their own personal stories with me.
Surprisingly, the hardest blogs to write have also been the blogs that people have related to the most.
We often convince ourselves that no one will else will understand what we’re going through, so we struggle in silence. Blogging has helped me realize how much we crave honest connection. Let someone know if you relate to their story. Hope is ignited when we realize we’re not alone.
Or, if you’re feeling really brave, give someone the gift of going second. Share your story first. It will usually give someone else the courage to share too.
As an introvert, I tend to process things internally. I choose my words carefully, and I often think about my words before I share them. I’m also careful about who I share my words with. Introverts usually aren’t the first ones to speak up, but God still created us with a voice that is meant to be heard.
For so many years, I wanted to speak about something that had happened in my life, but I couldn’t. The shame was so overwhelming that it silenced me. I could talk about a lot of things, but the words I needed to say the most would not come out.
I'm an ordinary introvert who loves an extraordinary God.