“Rejection isn’t just an emotion we feel. It’s a message that’s sent to the core of who we are, causing us to believe lies about ourselves, others, and God.” I just finished reading Lysa’s TerKeurst’s new book, Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely. This quote was one of many that resonated with me, especially since I recently experienced rejection. I started blogging almost a year ago. One of my favorite online communities was accepting guest blog submissions for the next quarter. I’ve never applied to be a guest blogger before, and even though part of me thought, “You’ll never be selected,” I surprised myself and applied anyways. Then I waited….and waited…and waited. I eventually received an e-mail thanking me for my guest blog submission. Then came the gentle let down - They received hundreds of submissions, but were only able to select 26 to publish. While my blog wasn’t selected, they thanked me for sharing my heart and encouraged me to submit another blog in the future. Rejection is hard, even when it comes with loving and encouraging words. I wish I could say as soon as I read that e-mail it inspired me to start working on my next guest blog submission. Instead, these were the thoughts and doubts that were running through my mind: “Why would anyone want to read your words? No one cares what you have to say. You’ll never be good enough. You should stop writing. You’ll never be as good as (fill in the name of every writer/blogger you know).” When we experience rejection, it can be difficult to distinguish between lies and the truth. We may start to accept the lies as truth, which often leads to feeling unworthy of love and doubting our gifts and purpose. How do you distinguish between lies and the truth? In my life, I have found it helpful to:
God has used this recent experience with rejection to remind me of the truth: “I started blogging because God gave me a desire to share my story. My hope and prayer is that others will feel encouraged and less alone and will also share their own story with someone. I may never know who reads my words or the impact they have on someone’s life, but I will continue to write as long as God gives me words to share.” Rejection hurts, but it can also refine and strengthen us. When you experience rejection, remember that you are still worthy of love. You are still valuable. You still have something to offer. God still has a purpose for your life.
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I recently finished reading Jenny Simmons' latest book, Made Well: Finding Wholeness in the Everyday Sacred Moments. Made Well is full of stories – stories that will make you laugh and stories that will probably cause you to shed a few tears. All of the stories remind me that healing is possible but often comes in unexpected ways. What I admire most about Jenny Simmons is her willingness to be vulnerable. She shares stories from the lives of friends and family members, but also honestly shares struggles she has faced in her own life. Through those experiences, Jenny has learned: “Healing happens all the time, even if a cure doesn’t. I am invited to be made well even when the broken things don’t get put perfectly back together. Healing happens.” This quote resonates so much with me. The truth is, God doesn’t always answer our prayers the way we would like. For 9 years, I watched my mom battle breast cancer, and I prayed that God would heal her. I wanted that healing to take place here on Earth, but instead my mom was healed when she met Jesus. What does healing look like for those left behind after a devastating loss? God often reveals His love to us through others. Many times it’s through simple acts: someone brings us food or runs errands for us, we receive a card or text/e-mail, someone asks us to share memories of our loved one, or they are willing to simply sit with us in our pain. Being “made well” doesn’t mean our grief disappears. Instead, it’s love displayed in ordinary moments. Moments that give us hope in the midst of our grief. One of my favorite chapters of Made Well was Chapter 6 – “Psychiatrist, Therapist, Pills – Oh My!” First of all, the title made me laugh. Then, I thought, “Is she really going to write about this?” The answer is yes! I’m especially thankful for this chapter because of the words of truth that are shared: “Naming our broken bits is the first step to finding healing for them. Inviting someone else into your journey might be your bravest decision.” Jenny invites us into her journey of seeking help for anxiety, OCD, and ADHD. She reminds us that God does amazing work through counselors, doctors, and sometimes He even uses medication to bring healing. It was so refreshing to read this, as many people think it’s a sign of weakness to ask for help. I used to be one of those people. Now, I see asking for help as a sign of strength. Like Jenny, God brought healing to my life through a Christian counselor. Sitting in her office that first session and naming my “broken bits” was scary, but it was a huge step on my healing journey. Part of my brokenness has been the result of experiencing childhood sexual abuse. It was something that I kept a secret for most of my life. Breaking the silence allowed the healing process to begin. While I won’t be completely restored until I meet Jesus, I am currently in the process of being “made well.” Healing has come through the love and support of family and friends, learning healthy ways to deal with my emotions (writing, exercising, music), connecting with other survivors of abuse, and reading books, articles, and blogs by people who honestly share their experiences. Realizing I'm not alone has brought comfort and hope. Healing has come through words of truth spoken by pastors and friends at my church. While I still struggle at times with feelings of shame, guilt, and unworthiness, they have reminded me of who I am in God’s eyes. Do you desire healing? If so, allow others to walk with you on the journey. God still performs miracles, but many times healing happens in the small everyday moments of life. It may even happen while reading the words and stories of Made Well. “Healing in this life is but a foretaste of what is to come.” I’m always looking for new books to read, and I recently came across a book by Jenny Simmons called The Road to Becoming: Rediscovering Your Life in the Not-How-I-Planned It Moments. Jenny was the lead singer of the Christian pop/rock band Addison Road. Even though their band had their final performance in 2012, I still love their music. Their song, “Hope Now” continues to be one of my favorite songs. Jenny’s book was actually part of a package deal – I would receive an autograph copy of the book, Jenny’s solo album, and a handwritten note from her. I was planning on buying the book anyways, so this was an easy decision. Sold! I must admit, I was expecting the handwritten note to simply read, “Thank you” or maybe, “Thank you. I hope you enjoy the book and CD.” I mean, what author/singer has time to write personalized notes of encouragement to her fans? So, imagine my surprise when I opened my package and saw the above note. Jenny also included my name when she autographed the inside cover of the book. I was impressed by these personal touches, and it reminded me that God knows us by name and cares about all the little details. In The Road to Becoming, Jenny Simmons shares personal stories from seasons of her life that she refers to as: The Dreaming and Destruction, The Burying, The Lostness, The Waiting, and The Becoming. “The death of a dream, plan, or person we love dearly is not the end of the story. It is, however, the starting point on our road to becoming. That place where eventually, somehow, someway new life is birthed.” Jenny Simmons Jenny talks about the importance of acknowledging and grieving the losses in our lives, but also shares how God can bring something good out of something we might never expect. You'll have to read the book to learn how God did this in Jenny's life. While my life experiences are very different from Jenny’s (I have never traveled the country on a tour bus, performed for thousands, or had a song on the radio), I could relate to the fact that my life now is very different than how I imagined it to be years ago. Growing up, I envisioned a life full of happiness. I dreamed of getting married, having a house full of kids and pets, living close to my family, and becoming a teacher. What does my life actually look like? While I have experienced lots of happiness, I’ve also experienced quite a bit of heartache. I’ve never been married, I don’t have any kids, I’m allergic to cats and dogs, I had to drastically change my diet when I discovered I have a gluten sensitivity, and I live hundreds of miles away from my family. The only thing that worked out as I had planned is that I’m a teacher. When life doesn’t go as planned, I remember these verses: Isaiah 55:9 - “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Jeremiah 29:11 – “ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” How has God brought something good out of my unplanned moments? He took my heartache and used it to give me a passion to help those who have experienced abuse and motherloss. Being single has allowed me more time to volunteer and serve in various areas. Going gluten-free helped me gain back my health. While I live far away from my biological family, God has blessed me with amazing friends from work and church who have become like another family to me. If my life would have gone as I had initially planned, I would have missed out on all of these things. We won’t always understand God’s ways and that’s ok. It’s in those unplanned moments of life that we often learn how to trust God the most. We may be caught off guard by what’s happening, but nothing catches God by surprise. He can use those unexpected moments to help prepare us for a future He has lovingly planned out for us. Is your life different than how you imagined it would be? What might God want to do through your unplanned moments? I know they say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but when I saw the cover of Annie F. Down’s latest book, Looking For Lovely: Collecting The Moments That Matter, I had a feeling I was going to love this book….and I was right! Annie is one of those authors who, even though I’ve never met her, I’m convinced if we did meet in real life we would be friends. Reading her book felt like sitting down with a close friend - honestly sharing what’s going on in our lives….the highs, the lows, and everything in between. Unfortunately, Annie wasn’t REALLY sitting down with me, so the conversation was definitely one-sided. :) In Looking For Lovely, I learned a lot about Annie through her personal stories. Her stories were filled not only with moments of laughter and joy, but with struggles and heartache. But in the midst of all the moments, Annie has learned how to look for evidence of God’s presence and love: “I want us to learn to look for the lovely all around us and collect it, hold it close, and see how God drops beautiful things into our lives at just the right time to help us step forward on our own paths.” For me, looking for lovely is easy on a day like today – blue skies, 80 degrees, and sunny. It’s easy when I’m out in nature and surrounded by colorful flowers, trees, streams, and waterfalls. It’s easy to find lovely when I’m eating at a favorite restaurant or going to a concert with friends. It’s easy to find lovely when I’m laughing or riding my favorite roller coasters. It’s easy to find lovely when I’m surrounded by my close friends and family. It’s easy to find lovely in beauty, but Annie encourages us to also look for lovely in the midst of brokenness. That is much harder, and doesn’t usually come naturally, which is why we need to purposely keep our eyes open for it. What does lovely look like in brokenness? For me, it’s God putting someone in your life to help support and encourage you when you need it most. It’s having a friend who is willing to listen or sit in silence with you. It’s when God brings a specific verse to your mind to remind you of His love and truth. It’s being able to take a nap when you feel exhausted. It’s connecting with the lyrics of a song. It’s finding a picture that brings back good memories. It’s remembering that when we’re broken, God knows how to put all those broken pieces back together (Psalm 147:3 – “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”). Looking For Lovely reminded me that God gives us glimpses of hope and evidence of His love, goodness, and faithfulness each and every day. They are there, but we don’t always see them because we are distracted by so many other things. Let’s slow down and look for lovely together. I’d love to hear what you find! Have you ever read a book that resonates with you long after you’ve read it? Have you ever read a book that has encouraged and inspired you so much that you feel led to buy it for others? For me, that book is: If You Feel Too Much, by Jamie Tworkowski. Jamie is the founder of To Write Love on Her Arms (TWLOHA), which is a non-profit organization that is "dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide." I first heard of To Write Love on Her Arms by going to concerts. I saw several musicians wear TWLOHA t-shirts. I remember Googling this strange phrase that I saw on a t-shirt, and I began to learn and read about this amazing organization. It all started with Jamie writing a story to help a friend, and now lives around the world are being changed. While looking at the TWLOHA website, I was quickly drawn to their blogs. All of the writers courageously shared their personal stories with such honesty. Over the past several years, the blogs on TWLOHA have been so encouraging to me on my journey, so when I learned that a book was being published by the founder of TWLOHA, I was excited! If You Feel Too Much is a 10-year collection of personal essays by Jamie Tworkowski. Each essay is short, but full of inspiration. In the midst of pain, struggles, and loss, Jamie speaks words of truth. He reminds us that our lives have purpose and that hope and healing can be found in community. “We were meant to be known, to be loved, to be in honest relationships where we can be carried and where we can help carry.” Jamie Tworkowski, If You Feel Too Much (p. 91) He reminds us about the power of speaking up and sharing our stories…the power of responding to someone’s confession by saying, “Me too”….the power of not judging others, but showing them unconditional love and compassion. As I finished the last page of this book, I was inspired. I began to look at people differently. I began to see each person as a story – a unique story that was written for a reason. Stop and get to know the stories around you. Share yours. It could end up changing someone’s life. |
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